I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
only if we run a train.
done.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
