I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
