I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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