so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Floor bacon is actually really good
You were trust falling into bushes
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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