Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
