google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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