Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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