the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Floor bacon is actually really good
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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