I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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