im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
