my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
