what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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