Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
