Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
