? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
