Small penises have feelings too.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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