Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
