so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
