One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
