Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
