um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
