No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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