You made me cry and you don't even care
now i know why i became what i already was.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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