omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
