he thought i was a dude.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The Olympian is in my bed
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
