ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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