there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
