i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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