My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
We smell like vodka and hangover
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
