is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Randomize
