"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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