My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
