..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
