Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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