If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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