I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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