You're my little dorito
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
