how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
