; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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