I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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