I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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