FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
