PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Randomize
