Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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