you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
