Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think I just shit out all my problems.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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