dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
