Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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