you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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