i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
